Be rigid in the standard you hold yourself to, but be flexible in how you work with others. These words came to me as I read about being courageous enough to try something new, when what we had always done ceased to get results any longer. It also got me to wondering, why are we so flexible on some things but then inflexible and rigid on others? The short list I came up with is far from exhaustive yet, I think, large enough to begin some internal dialogue with yourself in terms of how you may perceive certain situations. In this first part we look at three situations when you should probably be more flexible than not…

 

When to be Flexible

 

In your perceptions of others:

I ask everyone, do you think people are capable of change? Ok, how about ALL people? For me the answer is an easy one. Yes! And remember I didn’t ask do I think all people WILL change. One of the biggest challenges of people and leaders everywhere is truly understanding the notion that people can and many times do change, and change for the better at that. One of the primary functions of leadership is to coach people along. The purpose of coaching is to get an individual to change something in order to get a different result. But the challenge comes in actually changing our perception of this person after they’ve shown change. Allowing this person enough time and leeway to grow and mature and prove their change is a long-lasting one. This is something I discuss often through my work in etiquette and behavior modification. We must allow people to be different and not always recall what they’ve done, but what they are doing. Who have they become? What are they doing today? Do you allow your perceptions to change?

 

In your planning:

I had to take a hard look at myself here. I think the ego in us all sometimes precludes us from making the necessary adjustments in our plans to actually allow them a real shot at success. For me, the challenge comes in after I’ve spent all this time planning and researching something I’m sure to work and it doesn’t! Do I keep banging my head against the wall and working this plan, or do I look for the obvious, and sometimes, not so obvious clues as to where I might need to change a slight part of the plan for a much more desirable result. Of course this is after you’ve given the initial plan suitable time to play itself out, but there are no moral victories when you have a goal. Either you hit it or you do not. But are you being flexible enough in your plans to give yourself a fighting chance?

 

In your perception of yourself:

Now this is also a biggie. Sadly, many of us don’t give ourselves credit when WE change. We tend to look at ourselves in a much more harsh manner instead of patting ourselves on the back over the smallest of victories. Remember, the smallest of victories always lead to the largest. But if we aren’t recognizing our own progress, our own change in behavior, and our own change in thought process, why would we believe in ourselves as being capable of doing or being more. Belief is a funny thing, and just as how we perceive the beliefs of others influence, to a degree, their behavior towards us; how we perceive ourselves influences, to a much larger degree, how our personal results pan out. Do we allow ourselves room to grow?

 

“Don’t be so quick to judge others for what they believe. Remember, there was a time when you didn’t think what you think, or believe what you believe.”

 

Come back next week for part II of the post, which will lay out a few situations where you definitely want to be rigid, more times than not!

Sadiq Ali, MBA, is a speaker, trainer, professor, and author of Millionaire Manners: The Men’s (and Boy’s) Guide to Social Grace in the New Age and founder of Millionaire Manners Academy, a full service educational consulting and training organization that teaches life and career success through great personal and professional etiquette.

To contact Sadiq for engagements or questions:email Sadiq@Millionaire-Manners.com, visit www.Millionaire-Manners.com or connect on Twitter, Facebook or Instagram.