I know this question sounds simple. I know you think you probably already know the answer to this question too. The thing is, you could have three different people at the exact same job who all actually work for different individuals. Surely they also each have very different motivations. At a single job, you could be working for your company itself, you could be working for your boss or immediate supervisor, or you could be actually working for yourself. The irony with the last option is two-fold. Hopefully we all know now that just because someone is self-employed, it doesn’t mean they’re an entrepreneur. Conversely, just because someone works a “day job”, it doesn’t mean they aren’t. These are all subtly different on one hand, but Grand Canyon deeply apart on the other. Let’s see where you are. Who do you work for? For the Company: These people love their company or organization and were drawn to it. It could be that prestigious firm that everyone in your industry wants in. This company could have or still may be providing you major bragging rights in your social circle and each day you go into work, you’re thinking much of how you can contribute to extending the company’s legacy. Sometimes, though, this organization may cause you extreme stress and strife in your personal life. It didn’t get that coveted reputation from being warm and fuzzy all the time, right? When someone derides your organization you ardently defend it, though. It’s a source of pride for you and a large part of who you are. You work for (and sometimes love) your company. For the Boss: These people have a wonderful relationship with their direct supervisor. This person may have been in role for sometime and might even serve as a mentor to you. They might also insulate you from more stressful goings on in the organization, but the boss also has the uncanny ability to motivate you when you’re struggling. They get the best from you and you don’t mind saying that it’s because of your supervisor that you haven’t left yet for greener pastures. As the old adage goes, “people don’t quit jobs they quit bosses.”...
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In the first part of this post, we talked about situations where it would probably make more sense to be flexible in your dealings. To allow yourself enough latitude to grow and learn on the fly and make new decisions based on new information. This process is actually commonly called learning. So as we learn from our mistakes, we must allow ourselves time to implement these key learnings, even if it means altering existing thoughts, feelings or plans. Now let’s look at some situations where you will grow better belief by staying more rigid. And remember there’s no right or wrong answer, but sometimes it pays to stand strong. When to be Rigid In your Convictions: Which could include your expectations of yourself and others; your particular religious dogma (but not where it alienates others); your personal code, etc. All these different categories have different names, but essentially all answer the basic same set of questions: how do you treat others in different situations? This set of beliefs, also known as your “personal code”, should be there for you to refer to when you are faced with those tough moral right/wrong decisions. But one of the toughest questions to ask yourself, then answer, is do you have a personal code? If not, why not? If you can’t give yourself a good answer, create one! In your goals This is one of those things that should never, ever change. Choose something that excites you and go for it! The goal should remain constant, even though you may change up the tactics, approach and possibly even who’s going with you. But never what the pot of gold is at the end of the rainbow. So many people on a day to day basis change up what they think they want, and as a result end up with nothing. The best way to avoid this is to spend some time contemplating on those things you desire most, those things that excite us the most and those things that inspire us so much we don’t shelve them when times get tough, as they are guaranteed to do. What’s your rigid goal? In your purpose I’ve purposely broken this out...
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Be rigid in the standard you hold yourself to, but be flexible in how you work with others. These words came to me as I read about being courageous enough to try something new, when what we had always done ceased to get results any longer. It also got me to wondering, why are we so flexible on some things but then inflexible and rigid on others? The short list I came up with is far from exhaustive yet, I think, large enough to begin some internal dialogue with yourself in terms of how you may perceive certain situations. In this first part we look at three situations when you should probably be more flexible than not… When to be Flexible In your perceptions of others: I ask everyone, do you think people are capable of change? Ok, how about ALL people? For me the answer is an easy one. Yes! And remember I didn’t ask do I think all people WILL change. One of the biggest challenges of people and leaders everywhere is truly understanding the notion that people can and many times do change, and change for the better at that. One of the primary functions of leadership is to coach people along. The purpose of coaching is to get an individual to change something in order to get a different result. But the challenge comes in actually changing our perception of this person after they’ve shown change. Allowing this person enough time and leeway to grow and mature and prove their change is a long-lasting one. This is something I discuss often through my work in etiquette and behavior modification. We must allow people to be different and not always recall what they’ve done, but what they are doing. Who have they become? What are they doing today? Do you allow your perceptions to change? In your planning: I had to take a hard look at myself here. I think the ego in us all sometimes precludes us from making the necessary adjustments in our plans to actually allow them a real shot at success. For me, the challenge comes in after I’ve spent all this time planning and researching something I’m sure...
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Now before you get all up in arms and say, “Well Sadiq, I’m not looking for more friends!”, hold your horses! To that statement, I say firstly, touchè. But then I say, surely you and everyone you know can be more likable. So instead of saying you want more friends, which are definitely harder to come by, resolve to simply be more likable. Because as the old adage goes, you can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. Here are a few simple ways to help with that. 1. SMILE much more than you currently do. I say it all the time, and have even dedicated an entire chapter in my book to it. So this is fittingly the first tip. Smiling is a cheap way to improve your looks, it has scientific and physiological benefits and it will make you feel better almost instantly. A (genuine) smile also conveys warmth, openness and confidence. A smile is also one of the hallmarks of a great attitude. We all have read or at least heard by now the messages in several popular books like The Secret, Laws of Attraction, and others, that we can literally count down to the moment we get exactly what we attract. So how do you control what you get? Well, by simply giving off better energy, having a better attitude and spreading more cheer. The foundation of this a smile, accompanied by a great attitude. An attitude of positive expectation, an attitude of calmness and an attitude that attracts these exact same characteristics from those you encounter. It’s not called a magnetic personality for nothing you know! DAILY: Practice your smile each morning when you look in the mirror! Bonus, smile while telling yourself what a great day it’s about to be. 2. Give more compliments. It has been said before that one genuine compliment or kind word can ‘feed’ a person’s ego for months. In my experience, this is absolutely true. But the key word, again, is “genuine.” I always say that people can spot a phony so don’t say it if you don’t mean it. Know that everyone you meet has something specific and special that you may like or admire,...
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An interesting thought, and one that most never ponder, until they have to that is, is what would your kids say if they saw you now? Would they let you off the hook and say, “Well, you were young” or will they hold us to a higher standard, one that you will be probably holding them to? Telling them things like, “you won’t be young forever” will then come off as hypocritical if we’re not careful. The problem with not considering this, though, until you have kids, is that it’s usually too late. Most people think that when the time comes, they will automatically be ready to be parents and be ready to be an example to the pair of bright little eyes staring back up at them. But the truth of the matter is that you’re never really ready, unless you’re practicing holding yourself to a higher level and a higher standard — starting right now. The issue is really that we most usually play the real game just as we practiced. You slack off during practice, you’re almost sure to play poorly. Whereas if you practice harder, the game is almost guaranteed to be that much easier, slower even, with you being able to make decisions deliberately, and in real time, as if everything were in slow motion. This is the beauty of practice. To begin practice in being a parent isn’t as tough as you might think either. And I don’t mean the fun part of practice either. Ahem. I’m talking about practicing the art of saying no. I mean practicing the art of good character — that is doing the right thing when no one is watching. And I also mean being ever conscious of minding what you say before you say it. Give yourself this litmus test before speaking your next several words, and see where you rank: (A) Is it true? (B) Is it kind? or (C) Is is necessary? If you haven’t answered yes to at least three of those individual questions, then chances are, there is no reason to say it. Another way to think of it is this: Do your words improve upon the silence?? Again, if the...
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One of the cool things about my work through Millionaire Manners Academy and my background in management, is that I get asked all the time for somewhat general advice about navigating the mine field that is the work environment. When people ask me questions they want to know how to come out on top or sometimes jumpstart what may be a stagnant situation. While I, of course, refer everyone to reading my book, Millionaire Manners, which goes deep into many of the things that trouble most of us daily in doing our best to be impactful in our respective careers, I still thought that today I’d offer some additional practical advice around what else you can do to not only get ahead, but stay ahead and keep going. I always start with the most basic of questions back the individual who engages me. That question is: What is your main job on the job? I get all sorts of responses to this question, 99% of which are absolutely correct, but they all stop short to the main point, in my opinion. Those responses range from providing great customer service, to doing great work, to serving humanity and a whole host of not ill-conceived thoughts. But there’s a deeper, yet much simpler answer to the question, and one that most people have completely either not thought of, or have forgotten about as soon as they received the position they are currently in. The answer to the riddle is this: Your main job on the job, is to make your boss’s job easier. A little counterintuitive right? I know you’re thinking, “No way it’s that easy.” Yes way. It is. I will tell you that after conducting hundreds of interviews myself, and sitting in on hundreds others, what I was listening for, primarily, is the same thing countless other recruiters, hiring managers and supervisors are listening for as well: how will you make my job easier? What will you do to take things off my plate and not add to it? What are you going to do to add value to me? The truth of the matter is that most supervisors are swamped and that there always is and...
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