An interesting thought, and one that most never ponder, until they have to that is, is what would your kids say if they saw you now? Would they let you off the hook and say, “Well, you were young” or will they hold us to a higher standard, one that you will be probably holding them to? Telling them things like, “you won’t be young forever” will then come off as hypocritical if we’re not careful. The problem with not considering this, though, until you have kids, is that it’s usually too late. Most people think that when the time comes, they will automatically be ready to be parents and be ready to be an example to the pair of bright little eyes staring back up at them. But the truth of the matter is that you’re never really ready, unless you’re practicing holding yourself to a higher level and a higher standard — starting right now. The issue is really that we most usually play the real game just as we practiced. You slack off during practice, you’re almost sure to play poorly. Whereas if you practice harder, the game is almost guaranteed to be that much easier, slower even, with you being able to make decisions deliberately, and in real time, as if everything were in slow motion. This is the beauty of practice. To begin practice in being a parent isn’t as tough as you might think either. And I don’t mean the fun part of practice either. Ahem. I’m talking about practicing the art of saying no. I mean practicing the art of good character — that is doing the right thing when no one is watching. And I also mean being ever conscious of minding what you say before you say it. Give yourself this litmus test before speaking your next several words, and see where you rank: (A) Is it true? (B) Is it kind? or (C) Is is necessary? If you haven’t answered yes to at least three of those individual questions, then chances are, there is no reason to say it. Another way to think of it is this: Do your words improve upon the silence?? Again, if the...
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One of the cool things about my work through Millionaire Manners Academy and my background in management, is that I get asked all the time for somewhat general advice about navigating the mine field that is the work environment. When people ask me questions they want to know how to come out on top or sometimes jumpstart what may be a stagnant situation. While I, of course, refer everyone to reading my book, Millionaire Manners, which goes deep into many of the things that trouble most of us daily in doing our best to be impactful in our respective careers, I still thought that today I’d offer some additional practical advice around what else you can do to not only get ahead, but stay ahead and keep going. I always start with the most basic of questions back the individual who engages me. That question is: What is your main job on the job? I get all sorts of responses to this question, 99% of which are absolutely correct, but they all stop short to the main point, in my opinion. Those responses range from providing great customer service, to doing great work, to serving humanity and a whole host of not ill-conceived thoughts. But there’s a deeper, yet much simpler answer to the question, and one that most people have completely either not thought of, or have forgotten about as soon as they received the position they are currently in. The answer to the riddle is this: Your main job on the job, is to make your boss’s job easier. A little counterintuitive right? I know you’re thinking, “No way it’s that easy.” Yes way. It is. I will tell you that after conducting hundreds of interviews myself, and sitting in on hundreds others, what I was listening for, primarily, is the same thing countless other recruiters, hiring managers and supervisors are listening for as well: how will you make my job easier? What will you do to take things off my plate and not add to it? What are you going to do to add value to me? The truth of the matter is that most supervisors are swamped and that there always is and...
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So the latest research shows that the youngest of my generation have now developed a disdain, among other things, for leaving and receiving voicemail. The argument is that the voicemail is time consuming to retrieve, antiquated in general, and really serves no purpose. I couldn’t disagree more. I’ve heard more than one person say that if someone really wants to reach them, they’d know how, ie text, tweet, Facebook message etc. I’ve also heard other millennials say it simply takes too much time and is inconvenient to listen and/or respond. These could all be good arguments if one small fact didn’t exist: the world isn’t filled with just millennials! The fact is that the same marketing strategy does not work for every product in every situation. As an “etiquette guy” I find it distasteful for those I just meet to randomly send text messages. If that mode of communication has been established prior to then I’m fine with it. However, I wouldn’t just meet someone for the first time and then have them start texting me. That’s a more intimate, far less formal manner of communicating that leaves much to be desired in many settings. I went to college with a guy who had one of my all time favorite voicemail recordings: “If you don’t leave a message, you never called.” What about when you’re looking for a job and a potential employer calls and you don’t even know how to check your voicemails! Or one of my biggest pet peeves: a full voicemail box! To me, nothing screams “UNPROFESSIONAL” more than a full voicemail box. What about using voicemail, especially when you leave a well thought out brief and well done message, how it can actually encourage a call back on the other end where maybe there was no intention before. I also don’t know about anyone else, but I still screen many of my calls and I judge the seriousness of the call by one basic criteria: whether the individual leaves a voicemail or not. We must also keep in mind that voicemail is now becoming more and more special, so we can also all use that to our advantage. Remember the days when people...
Read MoreI hear people all the time getting upset when they hear someone was discriminated against because of some external style or fashion or grooming choice that person made. These external styling idiosyncrasies that we all have are just that: choices. There are other deeper more permanent characteristics, that while some may seek a way out (Sammy Sosa), they are with us for life. And there’s no real need to go into those for we have no control over them. But now for my thought. Does having purple hair or wearing bright red tights or a pink suit make you an independent thinker? Or posed another way, what does us wanting to look different have to do with actually being different? After careful study and analysis i.e. writing this, I have come to the personal conclusion that one doesn’t have much to do with the other. In fact, some of the lowest self-esteem owners purposely align themselves with “anti” movements of the world, simply because they want to be associated with something perceived as anti-establishment or anti-conformist, but really are conformists themselves. Conversely, some of the people we can silently judge from afar as being homogenous scaredy-cats are actually free to think and study and muse on many things due to the anonymity their perceived conformity has afforded them. I think this is one of the Lord’s best ironies at work. The current hipster movement is a readily available example of many young people subscribing to a particular style outwardly but not having done the necessary research to determine the underlying beliefs many of the earliest “hipsters” promulgated. If there was a hipster to hipster conversation, some of the hipsters might not make it out alive! The same can be said for some religious dress or those who feel the need to outwardly express themselves through exaggerated garb and bombastic speech. Some of these folks are struggling most with their faith, beliefs and attitudes. Whereas, again, some people who are a bit more reserved on certain topics or a certain manner of outward demeanor might be more fortified in their thinking than casual observers would give credit. Critical thinking and original thought both have their roots, in my opinion,...
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No I’m not going to tell you what my two things were but what I can tell you is that they scared the heebie jeebies out of me. I liked it so much because I knew I needed to do them so badly and procrastinated so much until these two things were ever-present on my to do list and eventually began to scare me. So today I did them. Knocked them right off and it felt so good. This feeling today illustrated a few things to me that I actually already knew, but we tend to forget what’s not happening to us everyday, so we all need a reminder. The first thing is that procrastination is the devil. You can put something off so long you actually start to justify why it’s not that important or why it can wait, until finally it gets pushed off and around so many times we actually decide (after writing it down originally) that it simply does not need to happen. When this happens, a little piece of us dies. A small piece of our goal will never be fulfilled, and this could be deferring our dreams in a worse way than we realize. Therefore, do not procrastinate. Do it right now, and your dreams will thank you. The second thing is that fear is very real. But you can use this fear to actually help guide you to be more productive in your traditional to do lists. Today when I awoke I had a pretty challenging list and, as most people do, I went right for the low hanging fruit, the “easy” items I could’ve easily done later, and in the process, pretty much skipped all the weightiest items. Why? Because they scared me, and I felt it. But today I used that fear factor to literally direct me to exactly what items I needed to rank as A priority (both urgency and importance) and I knocked those out in the first hour. When I tell you my personal confidence in me went through the roof and I ended up having one of my most productive days in sometime, I tell you that is exactly what happened. And to think, it’s all because...
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