Now before you get all up in arms and say, “Well Sadiq, I’m not looking for more friends!”, hold your horses! To that statement, I say firstly, touchè. But then I say, surely you and everyone you know can be more likable. So instead of saying you want more friends, which are definitely harder to come by, resolve to simply be more likable. Because as the old adage goes, you can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. Here are a few simple ways to help with that.

1.  SMILE much more than you currently do. I say it all the time, and have even dedicated an entire chapter in my book to it. So this is fittingly the first tip. Smiling is a cheap way to improve your looks, it has scientific and physiological benefits and it will make you feel better almost instantly. A (genuine) smile also conveys warmth, openness and confidence. A smile is also one of the hallmarks of a great attitude. We all have read or at least heard by now the messages in several popular books like The Secret, Laws of Attraction, and others, that we can literally count down to the moment we get exactly what we attract. So how do you control what you get? Well, by simply giving off better energy, having a better attitude and spreading more cheer. The foundation of this a smile, accompanied by a great attitude. An attitude of positive expectation, an attitude of calmness and an attitude that attracts these exact same characteristics from those you encounter. It’s not called a magnetic personality for nothing you know!

DAILY: Practice your smile each morning when you look in the mirror! Bonus, smile while telling yourself what a great day it’s about to be.

 

2.  Give more compliments. It has been said before that one genuine compliment or kind word can ‘feed’ a person’s ego for months. In my experience, this is absolutely true. But the key word, again, is “genuine.” I always say that people can spot a phony so don’t say it if you don’t mean it. Know that everyone you meet has something specific and special that you may like or admire, so tell them so. And be specific. Gentlemen, don’t just tell your wife or girlfriend, she looks “nice” but rather tell her what, specifically, you like that she has on. For example, her earrings, sweater, shoes (women love when men compliment their shoes) or anything else! It’s the thought that counts. But remember, genuine is the key! And ladies, feel free to do the same thing for the men in your life. At work, the rules apply even more. Positive feedback, or the lack thereof, is one of the biggest factors in creating a great or poor company culture. Who have you complimented today?

DAILY: Start by paying attention to the details of others. Give specific compliments. And don’t stop at clothing! Give compliments at work (especially managers) for a job well done.

 

3.  Stop doubting others. This is back to attracting what we give out. It also happens to be one of the biggest things that great friends do. Great friends don’t fill their counterparts with doubt about their dreams, hopes or desires, but rather they push them forward, help them brainstorm and come up with plans on bringing everything they want to life. Sometimes our own self-limiting views leak out of own our pores and onto other unsuspecting people. It’s not that we don’t believe in them, it’s that we don’t believe in us. That’s a post for another day, though. But for now, start with being a resource for others, and encouraging others to do what their hearts are calling them to do. Who knows, they may do the same for you.

DAILY: Catch yourself from playing the “devil’s advocate” role and switch to the “angel’s advocate” and see what happens.

 

4.  Do exactly what you say you will. Every. Single. Time. This small tip also happens to be part of building trust, building an impeccable reputation and the largest characteristic of the ethical. There are so many ways to make excuses for why we haven’t gotten certain things accomplished, but be careful when you give your word. Someone else is now counting on you to come through with what you said you would. You are now part their plan, who could be part of someone else’s plan, so on and so forth. So those who don’t take this responsibility lightly, become the coveted go-to person because their word is golden. Let’s all strive to have this as our reputation.

DAILY: Only commit to what you know for sure you can deliver. This will be tough because you will have to use the secret weapon of the super-productive: saying no.

 

5.  Don’t hold grudges. I know I had tons of people with me until this one. I know, and I apologize! This is because forgiveness is one of those concepts that works so well in theory, until it’s us who’s been wronged and the person who committed the offense acts like nothing even happened. There are few things more infuriating than this scenario. The irony is that we have ALL been on both sides of this equation to varying degrees. What is telling, though, is how many of us are as quick to forgive transgression against us as we are to calling out others about it. Or to take on yet another view, how many of us take the time to understand the conditions which led to said wrongdoing. This exercise usually leads to much greater understanding between both parties. But I will tell you, sometimes it’s all on us. I recently saw a story about a woman who one day was minding her business and was shot in the face by a young 13 year-old boy attempting to rob her. Her life was miraculously saved by the fact the bullet entered her mouth at just the right angle to exit her cheek. After 23 years and much soul searching and recovering for this woman, and the same amount of time of incarceration for the then young man who committed this awful crime, the two have not only begun regular correspondence and visitation, but she is actually his number one advocate for release. That is forgiveness.

DAILY: Think of who you have offended, and apologize. Consider those who have sought your forgiveness, and give it.

 

Happy New Year Self!

 

Sadiq Ali, MBA, is a speaker, trainer, professor, and author of Millionaire Manners: The Men’s (and Boy’s) Guide to Social Grace in the New Age and founder of Millionaire Manners Academy, a full service educational consulting and training organization that teaches life and career success through great personal and professional etiquette.

To contact Sadiq for engagements or questions:email Sadiq@Millionaire-Manners.com, visit www.Millionaire-Manners.com or connect on Twitter, Facebookor Instagram.