When to be Flexible, When to be Rigid – Part II
In the first part of this post, we talked about situations where it would probably make more sense to be flexible in your dealings. To allow yourself enough latitude to grow and learn on the fly and make new decisions based on new information. This process is actually commonly called learning. So as we learn from our mistakes, we must allow ourselves time to implement these key learnings, even if it means altering existing thoughts, feelings or plans. Now let’s look at some situations where you will grow better belief by staying more rigid. And remember there’s no right or wrong answer, but sometimes it pays to stand strong.
When to be Rigid
In your Convictions:
Which could include your expectations of yourself and others; your particular religious dogma (but not where it alienates others); your personal code, etc. All these different categories have different names, but essentially all answer the basic same set of questions: how do you treat others in different situations? This set of beliefs, also known as your “personal code”, should be there for you to refer to when you are faced with those tough moral right/wrong decisions. But one of the toughest questions to ask yourself, then answer, is do you have a personal code? If not, why not? If you can’t give yourself a good answer, create one!
In your goals
This is one of those things that should never, ever change. Choose something that excites you and go for it! The goal should remain constant, even though you may change up the tactics, approach and possibly even who’s going with you. But never what the pot of gold is at the end of the rainbow. So many people on a day to day basis change up what they think they want, and as a result end up with nothing. The best way to avoid this is to spend some time contemplating on those things you desire most, those things that excite us the most and those things that inspire us so much we don’t shelve them when times get tough, as they are guaranteed to do. What’s your rigid goal?
In your purpose
I’ve purposely broken this out from convictions and expectations and goals, in part, because this truly helps to inform all those other components of ourselves. Ironically, it just so happens to be one of the toughest riddles to solve. It’s actually pretty safe to say that the majority of people walking the planet have no idea what there’s is. (Maybe we’ll explore this specific topic another day, but I believe that’s because most people never stop to think about it.) But in regards to ascertaining ones purpose, as soon as it enters your mind, don’t let the thought go. Ever. Don’t bend, don’t be flexible, don’t acquiesce. Just figure a way to explain yourself as many times as you can without being offensive, or until everyone around you gets it. You’re not budging on what you were put here to do.
Life is all about balance so maintaining the right mix of conviction and compassion can be a tough thing, but certainly one to strive for right? It’s all about life and death, sweet and sour, darkness and light. So allow yourself the space to grow and to be flexible at times, and rigid during others.
Let me know what you think!
Sadiq Ali, MBA, is a speaker, trainer, professor, and author of Millionaire Manners: The Men’s (and Boy’s) Guide to Social Grace in the New Age and founder of Millionaire Manners Academy, a full service educational consulting and training organization that teaches life and career success through great personal and professional etiquette.